Brotherhood is one of the most valuable things on earth. Good ol’ ladies support it. The bad ones don’t. They are the worst. They are witches that work to undermine and divide our Brotherhood.
All MCs have their challenges, threats and even enemies. Some of these threats are at the club level and some are at the local or chapter level. I think that one of the least talked about but most pervasive threats to any MC at the local or chapter level is bad women – selfish, shortsighted women who pull Brothers away from the club.
You read that right. Women are probably one of the biggest threats to local chapters of an MC. More men are taken out of commission by women than any police force, motorcycle accident, knife or gun wielding opponent. “It can’t be!” some are thinking. I have seen it over and over again. So often the story goes like this. He is a great Brother. He is out and about with the club more than most. You can depend on him to watch your back and to back you up in any situation. He is a great brother and he has earned your trust and then one day this sweet thing comes along and puts a spell on your brother. Her spell is more real than one cast by any mythical witch. In in a week or month *poof!* he is a changed man and on his way out.
Take for example a Brother I’ll call “Slam”. I remember when he first started hanging around. He was gung-ho. He made it to everything. He was solid. He was not afraid to back up a brother. He became a prospect in minimal time. After he became a prospect Slam had some “bumps in the road” we all do. The Brothers liked him and had high hopes for him. But the ladies seemed to like him even more.
Prospect Slam was always getting the eye from some gal, but as a prospect we kept him way too busy to take advantage of all the hookup opportunities that were coming his way. As I got to know him during his prospecting days I learned that he was used to that kind of attention from the ladies. I know that it goes without saying that when you ride a Harley in a MC, you’re confident about yourself, have a decent job, and are a reasonably good-looking guy that is to be expected. Hotties are going to be attracted in a big way.
Slam was used to the barroom ladies checking him out and wanting to hookup with him, but what he really wanted was to get married and start a family. I know that is not what most folks outside of the MC world would think a Brother would want. We are “supposed” to only care about the “Big Bs”, bikes, beer, boobs and hot babes that are easy come and easy go. Regardless of what Joe Q. public thinks most MC brothers eventually get married and have kids (often married two or three times). I guess in is only natural. The MC life can be hard on relationships if a Brother picks the wrong woman.
Then one day it happened. Prospect Slam got patched! We all celebrated and loved our new brother. Prospect Slam was now Brother Slam, and he turned out to be an even better Brother than he was as a prospect. Then the “other shoe dropped”…
Brother Slam confided to me on day over a few shots and a couple of beers, he said, “Brother I have found the one.” Inside my head I though “Oh shit, here we go!”. Slam had decided that he had found the gal for him. He went on to describe her to me with a distant look in his eyes… Yup, that witch had cast a spell over my Brother. He denied it. All I could do was hope that I was wrong.
As the next couple of months when buy, Brother Slam was around less and less. I confronted him at our next church. I said, “Brother are you fading away?” He said, “No way Brother. I’d never do that. I love you and the club. This is my family!”
One month later, his club “family” had been replaced by that spell-casting bitch and the kids she brought along with her. The man that I called “Brother” rolled it up. He was gone.
That evening he texted me after I heard all about it. He wrote, “I hope that this doesn’t change anything”. I thought to myself, “Huh, this changes EVERYTHING!” I deleted his text and his contact information from my phone list. I was sad and pissed off all at once.
As I write this I am thinking about other “Brothers” lost in this similar fashion.
These gals are out there. The get all hot and excited when they see a “bad boy” MC brother come into the bar or whatever. They get turned on by the whole thing. The bike. The man. The club. Somewhere inside that gal decides she wants that bad boy right there and they turn it up. They are all over that Brother and they cast the spell, or sink those claws in and nab him, often right in front of his Brothers. But we don’t see the claws or detect the spell cast. We just see another gal seemingly in heat read to “hookup” with our Brother. “No big deal” we think.
But is a totally different experience for the Brother. Because something is about to happen and he will be completely blindsided. You see, not all women are our enemies. Some women make great ol’ ladies. They love their man and the love the club. His Brothers are her family. But this is not the case with the witch.
You see the women who are a threat, the witches. These women want my Brother, but once they have him they don’t want the club. Yes, the bad boy MC man is all huge turn-on for her – at first. Then once she has him, she wants to tame him. She wants to domesticate him. She is afraid that that man who walked in the door and caught her eye will catch the eye of other hotties in the bar.
Now she wants him to leave the club or at least “not go out so much” at first. Then she worries about him. “Maybe my man would be safer if he left the club” she thinks. “Maybe he would be safer if he did not ride that Harley, besides we could fix up our apartment with the money we would get if he sold the bike” she continues to muse as she contemplates a future with him without the bike and the club.
Ironically, it was the bad boy on the Harley that caught her eye, now it is that persona that she fears. She does not fear him, she fears the competition that who he is may bring into her life. She thinks, maybe it is best to tame him. Unfortunately, too many times that is what happens.
What to do about it. Sometimes you can’t do much. A spell is a spell. They defy logic. Here is an idea. Get that gal around other ladies who love the club! Let her learn from them. As soon as a brother starts introducing a gal as his “ol lady” or put the “Property of Patch” vest on her back introduce her to the great ladies in the chapter or are local. They can teach her the value of the club to her ol’ man like no Brother can. If that doesn’t work do your best to run her off before she takes your Brother with her. You will be doing him a favor.
You see this detour that you brother has taken with the witch will never out. She got all hot and attracted to the Brother of an MC on the bike who rode in the pack with his Brothers. He was the self-assured “outlaw man” who once tamed and domesticated will became miserable. Then she will find herself in love with a man who is a shadow of his former self. She won’t be happy and he will be miserable. The relationship is doomed.
The best path is to find a woman who can love the club. Get her around ol’ ladies who do love the club and who wear the Property of Patch because they get it. Those women are proud of their men his club and their place in that traditional system. But if the Brother leaves the MC and one day he wants to come back, make him prospect, and make him prospect for a long time. Make him earn his way back in a big way so he will never want to leave again.
When he earns his way back he will be smarter for it. Be a Brother to him. We have something very special in our MC world. He will understand that better than most for having left it and returned. We are a Brotherhood of men. This kind of Brotherhood makes men into better men.
This is something so few men experience in our modern world where most men just hang out with their work buddies. They don’t know Brotherhood. Work buddies are your “friends” out of convenience. You just happen to see each other Monday through Friday because you work together. They are not even close to being brothers.
Most men are lonely brotherless individuals who work day to day with no meaningful connection to other men. They have no clan or tribe. And so, they are weak men who live unfulfilling boring lives for the most part.
Beware of the enemy. Beware of the witch.